Amish Porn
I work with and live among The Amish of Seneca County NY.
I find their culture intriguing and admirable and insane; they deliberately live a difficult life. The Horse & Buggy is romantic in the summer but crazy in the winter. They have the best gardens. Some of the english (their word for secular, non-Amish) around here don’t like the Amish folk cuz they are dirty, smell funny, talk funny (like if Schwarzenegger were half Canadian), and they leave road apples everywhere.
I heard a rumor that they sometimes pay english dudes to get their gals preggers, y’know to prevent inbreeding. Sometimes, because I am so jaded by modern women, I fantasize about hooking up with an Amish gal on rumspringa, like, “Yeah, Ester, the modern world is fu..., ahem, disturbing and will drag you into sin faster than a spinning wheel, but let me show you the nice side...”
I would then give her a few kratom capsules, draw a bubble bath, and play WASHED OUT
while I feed her Thai Food. She would never go back. Modern women are always some combo of stupid / evil / annoying because they have been raised on turdwave feminazi bs and goddamned Kardashian standards of femininity. Can’t speak for all men but I hate make-up and fake tits and obnoxious perfume. Gimme funk and bare feet and a work ethic and a fresshhh loaf of bread.
Hollywood has touched on this fetish
The other day I saw a bunch of Amish gals harvesting their first crop of CBD Hemp
so I am sure I could get my rumspringa babe high af, and then we escalate to oral and TOOL. Pretty sure they don’t shave down there and that is also sexy. If I ever come across a Ginger Amish girl
I would not rely upon a rumspringa window, I would just say fuck it and give up on modernity (giving up youtube and my rice cooker would be difficult) and BECOME Amish. I can grow a decent beard, and I could learn how to rig up a horse.
Amish girls are not catty, because the way they hook up and dress prevents MAN-ATTENTION-AS-CURRENCY. This means that they are not sluts. Sisterhood
is allowed to flourish, something 3rdwavers and they intersectionality victim competition denies. There is one Amish girl I know, she is cute af and her voice is like silk but she is a tad young. She will remain a silly fantasy. I feel really fortunate to know these folks because next year when Tribulation begins and all the english are eft inda aye, the Amish won’t even notice and I will laugh and my heart will be warmed. Who is insane now? You modern folks with your GRID and Television and fb / internets addictions! Truth is though The Amish have afforded themselves some modern conveniences. One fella I know listens to pop hip hop with his wireless earbuds. Others have smartphones - 50 yards away from the house so as to make it not SO easy. We could learn the value of symbiosis here. Modern English folks give ‘em rides and emails, they give us fresh veggies and uncorrupted virgins - WIN WIN !!!
...AND A SMOKIN' LITTLE ASS
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